I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
