we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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