Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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