who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
