Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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