I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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