So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
