those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
