You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
