yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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