College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
