He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
