In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
