So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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