but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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