took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
