shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
this is an emotional support booty call
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
