Buhtt sex?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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