The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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