His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
too bad you live with your parents still
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
