Cold hands, warm shart.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
