I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
