At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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