do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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