What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
