i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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