i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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