It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
