You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
