I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
