Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
