im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my vag is so smooth its legendary
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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