Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The struggles of a small town man whore
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
