Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize