Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
too bad you live with your parents still
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
