After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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