he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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