the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
