Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
