best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
