Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
