it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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