i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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