So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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