Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
