i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
