That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
