How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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