Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
