Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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