Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
