I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
