mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
